Sometimes I really feel like I might say too much or share a little too much in these posts but I guess that really is a part of my journey. I was chatting with the awesome James Garrison (Check him out on Facebook here!) this afternoon and he raised an idea of the importance of talking about every facet of this healthy transformation, the good, the bad and the ugly even. He’s so right. I think that is what is truly different for me this time. I am not letting anything hide. I am shining a spotlight on each piece of who I was, who I am, and who I will be. I draw strength from doing so. Glad you are all a part of it!
What I have to talk about tonight is actually something pretty darn cool. Amazing actually. Earlier this week when I was giving my presentation at RIC, a friend commented on the changes I have made and said, “Don’t you think it’s time to get some new clothes that fit?” I chuckled and said, “These are my new skinny clothes.”
I realized she was right, of course. The new clothes I wrote about buying a few months ago are all getting to be too big. So I decided that I would go check out some new jeans or pants at Walmart after work tonight. The newest ones I bought a while back were 44s, and I was delighted with them. At my biggest, I wore size 74 pants. Tonight I figured I would probably get some 42s, and would try on some 40s to see how close I was to fitting into them. When I was at the store I decided that the 42s were probably too big, and instead took a pair of 40s and 38s into the dressing room. I honestly believed that 40s would probably fit a bit snug and that the 38s would be impossible, but I wanted to check them out and see if I was getting close at all.
In the dressing room, I decided to try on the 38s first…
I just about fainted, because you see, they fit! Sure they’re tight in some areas, like my butt, my calves, but they fit. They buttoned closed well. Not easily, but well. Perfectly really. So yes, once again, I got teary in Walmart. Alone in the dressing room. Me and the 38s.
(And yes, this pic makes me realize how gigantic my work shirts are on me, even though I think they are tight as all get out. Funny how the mind plays tricks…)
I honestly cannot remember the last time I wore a 38, probably some time in high school, so the late 80s, early 90s at least. I bought the jeans. I didn’t even try on the 40s. They’d probably fit great in every area, and I could have worn them home without a thought but once I buttoned the 38s I knew I would not get them. Not sure when I will wear them out, I feel like I need to break them in a little. It’s rough getting used to clothes actually fitting, like fitting all over and not just fitting one part of my body. But soon, I will walk around in them and it will seem insignificant to anyone I pass, to people I bump into on the street, but I’ll know what the pants mean and it will be amazing.
I’m including this last pic with a bit of trepidation as it flashes a little skin, but I like it. It is the proof that the 38s fit just fine…